(Source: gmacht, via xanseviera)
- jim: hello?
- sebastian: is this a bad time?
- jim: yes of course it is, what do you want?
- sebastian: that kitten came back to our flat. i've decided you can keep it.
- jim: SAY THAT AGAIN. say that again, and know, that if you are lying to me, i will find you, and i will skin you.
- sebastian: if you don't come home with cat supplies in the next half hour i'm using it for target practice.
- jim: WAIT.
- jim: sorry, wrong day to die.
- sherlock: oh, did you get a better offer?
- jim: you'll be hearing from me, sherlock.
- jim: if you have what you say you have, i'll make you rich. if you don't, i'll make you into shoes.
- sebastian: i already have access to your bank account, and you have enough shoes. just come home before this cat pees on the rug.
- jim: i'm just trying to act cool, i'm with sherlock and john. okay they're gone. what should we name it?
My 4-yr-old cousin watching "Thor" for the first time
- her: Is the green guy a bad guy?
- me: Not really. His name is Loki.
- her: Logi?
- me: Low-key
- her: Loki? Ok.
- her: I like Loki.
- her: Is Thor a princess?
- her: Thor gets hit by cars a lot.
- her: WHY IS LOKI BLUE
- her: Is it because he's sad?
- her: Poor Loki.
- her: Can we have him?
- her: Thor and that girl are gonna get married
- her: Is Loki bad now?
- me: Yup.
- her: He likes being bad.
- her: Because he likes his spear.
- her: and his helmet.
- her: Thor wants to stop Loki right?
- me: Yes he does.
- her: But- Thor doesn't want to kill Loki.
- her: Because Thor loves Loki a lot.
- her: No! Did Loki die?!
- her: But I liked Loki...
- her: I bet Thor misses him,
- her: I miss him.
imagine if it went the opposite way around
- Me: Hi! Can you sign my pap-
- Band Member: Marry me.
- Me: What?
- Band Member: What?
- Me:
- Band Member:
- Me:
- Band Member: I mean yeah, sure I'll sign your paper.
